About a 7.5 minute read

In case you haven’t been following along on Facebook, I started a new group called Healthy Happy Habitudes. It’s a small group and there’s a lot of great interaction and support going on (and we’d love for you to join, by the way - just click on the group name and request to join). I’m having a lot of fun writing daily posts and engaging with everyone. Now that we’ve been going for several months, I’ve been hearing some common themes from the group members. It got me to thinking about what people want the most and have the most difficulty achieving. So I started wondering, why do we have so much trouble accomplishing the goals we set, especially when they seem so important to us?

It’s all in our mindset.

See, in the nutrition coaching world, the people I talk to are seeking to improve their general health and well-being, increase their energy, and most often, lose weight. We all have a good idea of what’s involved in accomplishing those things, and yet we are frequently unsuccessful. In spite of the fact that in America alone, the diet industry is pulling in a whopping $70 BILLION a year, we’re still overweight and exhausted, and the rate of obesity in America is staggering (and still climbing). Over 75% of American men, 60% of American women, and 20% of American children under 20 are obese. “There are more obese adults living in America today – 78 million – than in any other country in the world.” (http://tiny.cc/1gtg9y)

Want to know a secret? It’s not just about the food. It’s about lifestyle. It’s about culture. It’s a mutl-faceted issue.

With all the fast food, convenience foods, and junk foods consumed, not to mention the calorie-laden drinks (often marketed as “health” drinks), it’s not surprising that Americans are overweight. And I realise that obesity isn’t a problem unique to America, but we have the largest concentration of obesity per capita of any country being recorded, so let’s stick with what we know.

America is a land of opportunity, and it’s also a land of convenience. If we can shortcut a manual process of any kind, we’ll do it. We now have home systems we can simply talk to, instead of having to walk into a room and turn off a light. We have recliners with refrigerators in them so we don’t have to walk all the way to the kitchen to refresh a beverage or grab a snack. Heck, we don’t even need to reach as far as the end table because there’s a drink holder built into the arm of the chair. We drive short distances instead of walking because most towns and cities aren’t pedestrian friendly. Bicycle riders are looked at as a hazard and inconvenience to drivers rather than people who are getting some exercise and cutting down on air pollution. We cruise parking lots for minutes on end just to find a space closer to the door instead of walking that extra 50-100 feet. You get the idea.

When commercials, billboards, magazine advertisements and even school cafeterias are working hard to get processed foods down our gullets, it can be an honest-to-goodness battle just to maintain some sensibility in our lives.

But here’s the thing. It’s not about the food. It’s not about willpower. It’s not even about how many vegetables you ate or how many times you went to the gym. OK, maybe how many vegetables you ate is ultimately an important thing, but there’s something even more important.

It’s your mindset.

Before you can change anything relating to the outside of your body, you have to change the inside of your body - namely, your mindset. What you think can have a profound effect on what happens physiologically, mentally, and emotionally with your body. Whether you agree or not, try this:

Look at yourself in the mirror. Look at the part of your body you want to change the most (and if there’s nothing physical you want to change, just keep looking yourself in the eye). What do you feel when you look at your body? What thoughts go through your mind? What words do you use when you talk to yourself? (Come on, you know you do…). Are they kind? Are they mean? What tone do you use when you talk to yourself? The tone you use is just as important as the words. Sense in to your body when you look at yourself. Do you feel tension anywhere? Anger? Disgust? Fear? Love?

I would be willing to bet that when you do this exercise, what comes out is the realisation that not only do you not like that part of yourself, but you tend to use negative and maybe even hateful words, whether you’re talking to yourself or just that part of your body. And that’s OK. You’re not alone. Why do you think I know that people do this? I’m still a work in process too.

SO. Now that we’re all feeling a bit vulnerable, let me provide you with some tools to help turn this around. You are your own best friend, so it’s time to start treating yourself as such. That said, if you’ve been spewing hateful words at yourself for many years, it is going to take time, patience, and perseverance to change those habits. But it can be done. And it must be done if you want to make real, lasting progress with anything relating to your own health and well-being. Trust me, I’ve been there and I know first-hand what it takes. (Did I mention I’m still a work in process?)

There are 2 tools I’ve used to finally start loving my body exactly as it is RIGHT NOW, even though I still would like to make some changes and improvements. And yes, that’s possible. Just because you love and accept something as it is doesn’t mean you think it’s perfect. You can love something (or yourself) and still want to improve it. Anyway, I digress. The first tool is called EFT, or Tapping. If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts then you’ve heard me talk about this before. It’s a simple process that helps clear emotional blocks. It requires no experience, although I do recommend starting with someone who is well practiced to get the most benefit. My favourite Tapper is Brad Yates, and he has hundreds of free Tapping videos on YouTube, including a good explanation of what it is and how it works. You can search his page for videos addressing just about any topic. When I started tapping daily, after about a week my husband noticed changes in me and my level of self-confidence. And by the way, I hadn’t told him I was doing it. I’ve recently re-started my daily practice and I already feel better. I realise that Tapping isn’t for everyone, but why not give it a try? Do it daily for a couple weeks and see what happens. You can use the same script over and over, or try a different one every day. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

The 2nd tool I used, that may sound or feel strange but WORKS, is simple Mirror Work. Every day for 40 days, you look into the mirror and take at least a few minutes to say positive things to yourself, without breaking eye contact. (By the way, you have to do it for 40 days in a row - if you miss a day you need to start over - there’s research behind this that I can share if you want it.) If you have difficulty coming up with anything positive to say, you can start small by remembering things you did, like “It was really great that you got up and went to work today,” or “you have a nice smile,” or even “you had a really great hair day today and people noticed.” Eventually, try to work your way around to saying positive things to the body parts you dislike the most. For example, if you think your hips are too wide, tell them how grateful you are that they support your body so well and allow you to walk and move throughout the day. Even better, put your hand on that part when you talk to it to really make the connection. Over time you can dive deeper and talk about your qualities, your values, and who you are. Finally, once you’ve said some nice things to yourself, the last thing you do in the exercise is look yourself in the eye, say your name, then say, “I love you.”

BE AWARE of a few things with this exercise. It’s entirely possible that it will bring you to tears the first few times you do it. KEEP GOING. Personally, I bawled the first 3 times I did this. It felt awkward and uncomfortable and I didn’t want to do it, which meant I really needed to do it. And you do too. After you do it consistently for a few days, it gets easier. I promise. And the more you do it, the more cool, great, positive things you start to discover about yourself. By the end of my 40 days I was laughing and smiling and enjoying the process. So if you choose to do this, stick with it. It’s absolutely worth the few minutes a day that it takes. If you live with other people it might be a good idea to allow yourself some quiet, private time to do it, whether that’s in the bathroom, bedroom, or wherever. It’s most effective when you talk out loud, and when you can do it in front of a full-length mirror (or at least a half-length mirror). If you feel comfortable doing so, let your partner or spouse know that you’re doing this so they can support you - or at least give you a few minutes of privacy!

Remember, the first and most important person to deserve your love and kindness is yourself. You know the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup?” How do you expect to have love and kindness to give to others if you don’t have any for yourself?

Now you’re probably wondering, how do these things affect your mindset? Well, when you find that you really do like - or even love - and accept yourself as you are, it’s much easier to implement changes and do positive, healthy things for yourself. It’s easier to make yourself a priority because you realise that you are a good person who deserves to feel healthy and vibrant. You’re more willing to spend time doing positive things for yourself because you want to develop the best version of YOU. Your actions follow your thoughts, so if your thoughts are positive and kind, your actions will be too - towards yourself as well as others. As a result, you’ll be in a much better position to share your gifts. And we’re all here waiting for you!

And couldn’t the world just use that kind of positive energy right now?

Have a health of a day,

Juli