About a 4 minute read

When you have a goal of changing your body, whether it’s weight / fat loss, weight / muscle gain, reshaping, improving your health markers, or whatever it may be, success doesn’t just happen.

Successful people are almost always focused, motivated, and decisive. You know what else?  They own their actions. From their fitness to their portfolios, successful people “own it.”

Why? When you take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and actions, what you are really doing is claiming your power. You are putting yourself in charge. For some folks that sounds intimidating. But if you aren’t happy with every aspect of your life, the universe is telling you it’s time to make a change. In order to do that, you have to own your choices.

Here’s a harsh truth: Where you are right now, straight up, is the result of all your actions up to this point. So if you don’t like where your life is at—be that at work, in your relationship, or even in your own skin—the only person who can change that is you.

Blaming and complaining seems to be a national epidemic; we are almost conditioned to point the finger at outside influences every time we find ourselves in an unpleasant situation. We sit at a desk in a job we hate. We shovel cookies into our face and lament that we can’t zip our jeans. We look longingly at the couple in the park holding hands and escape by scrolling on our smartphones. We point to someone or something else as the source of our dissatisfaction. “It’s not my fault!” Or is it?

Let’s look at the examples I just gave, and let’s dissect each one.

In the first example, you’re stuck in a job you hate. You feel trapped by the money, your mortgage, health benefits, etc. But what would happen if you stopped pointing to the reasons you are miserable and asked yourself, “How can I make this job work for me?” Or in an even more radical approach, identify what you really want to do and start taking steps to do it?  Enroll in a class. Talk to your boss about restructuring your position. Start interviewing. Nothing changes unless something changes. Guess who can change things? Yes, YOU.

Second, maybe you hate, or at least dislike, your body. You eat out of stress, boredom, or habit. You blame holidays and a heavy workload. I don’t have time to eat healthy food! It’s too hard to stop overeating! I’m addicted to X food! But maybe, if you said, “This is MY body and I want to love it,” and you owned every bite you put in your mouth, your jeans would loosen up and you might start feeling a little better about yourself. As much as it sucks to admit it, you make the choice about whether to eat the cookies and you make the choice about whether to go to the gym. Your health, like every other part of your life, is your responsibility. If you’re not happy with the way things are, only you can make the changes you seek.

In the third example, you see couples looking happy, connected, and in love but you feel disconnected and isolated. You blame your job, the kids, or your partner for how dissatisfied you feel. What if you looked at how your own actions are creating distance?  Are you setting down your phone and turning off the TV to interact with the people you love? Are you making thoughtful gestures and communicating your desires clearly without anger or blame?  You CAN have the relationship you want but it takes your full commitment and a willingness to accept 100% responsibility for your half of it.

The unifying principle in all three of those scenarios is that failing to embrace your responsibility in any situation keeps you stagnant and in an unhappy place. In order for things to get better, you have to identify the problem, decide how you want it to be different, and then own it. If you want something better for yourself, you can absolutely make it happen. The first step is to recognize, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, you’ve had the power all along.

Looking at your life without the blinders of blame can be painful. It will reveal all the difficult things about ourselves and our lives that the blame game can help us cover up. But the pain is short-lived if you use it as a lesson for making better choices instead of using it as a way to beat yourself up. Don’t get bogged down in yesterday. The past is gone and the present is fleeting, but the future is ripe with possibility.

Do you want a better life?

Are you tired of where you are?

Do you think you deserve more?

It’s time to let go of all the excuses you’ve used as a safety net and reclaim your life. Once you take back your power and you begin to own your success, you will be amazed at how much stronger and braver you start to feel. All that blame and fear is crippling. In taking action, there is power.

The very first step toward changing your life and making it better is taking 100% responsibility for the whole amazing thing. Own it.

And by the way, part of owning it is knowing when to ask for help. While we’re the only ones who can actually change things in our lives and ourselves, sometimes it helps to have a guide and mentor. A coach. Someone who can objectively look at what’s going on and help you find the best way to make the changes you seek. Someone to help you keep yourself accountable, especially when it feels difficult. Change is hard, but with the right guide it doesn’t have to feel impossible. Did you know that asking for help is a sign of strength?

If you’re ready to make those changes in your own life, I’m here for you. I would be happy to help you reach your goals in a way that works with your life. Want to chat? Let’s schedule a call!

Have a health of a day,

Juli