Cleaning Up

After my many realizations from the last post, I've been working at staying more aware and more focused on how everything I'm eating and drinking affects the way I feel.  Truth be told, I haven't yet made the transition to listening to my body, nor have I completely conquered the 80% full habit.  I have, however, kept up (mostly) with the new habit of recording what I eat.  There have been ongoing social activities and as a result I have not improved my food intake very much. Or at all, really.  I also have been consuming way too much wine during various trips, parties, and celebrations.  As we enter the holiday season, I fear that the opportunities to continue this kind of behavior are only going to increase, so I need a strategy.  

Somewhere in my mind I have maintained the illusion that whenever this, that, or the other thing happens, or whenever this, that, or the other event is over, I can get back on track.  But there's really no "track" to get back on - we are talking about daily habits and behaviors, not some specific timeframe during which I have to behave in a certain way.  There is no end to it - this is my life! The PN coaching program is actually an "anti-program" in the sense that we are supposed to be learning to transform our behaviors and habits in a fundamental way so that after this year of learning, we can fly solo.  We will have written our own User Manual; we will have collected the necessary tools; and we will have built and strengthened the skills and habits we need in order to continue the transformation that began the day we signed up.  

So excuse me while I lecture myself a little bit here.  Life definitely has a beginning and an end, but everything that happens in-between those two events is a result of our individual efforts to shape it. As some wise person once said (sorry, I don't remember who, but my dad repeats it often), we are the sum total of our efforts.  Everything we have achieved thus far, and the people we have become, are the direct result of the efforts we have put into our lives.  As much as I would like to think I can jump straight from signing up for coaching to having transformed my body without doing all of the work that has to be done, it's just not possible.  I am no different from anyone else.  I have to actually do it.  And no, I'm not beating up on myself for not doing every single thing, every single day.  OK, well maybe just a little bit. But I'm thrilled that I am feeling, thinking, and behaving much differently than I was 4 months ago.  Those changes alone have made the program worth its weight in gold.  HOWEVER, I still have eight months left to go, and I think I've finally got it into my head that if I want to see any changes, I am going to have to make them happen. Me. Myself.  Alone. Because nobody else, regardless of their incredible skills, abilities, and desires, can do it for me.  Oh boy.

So, as I look ahead to yet another dinner out this evening, I am thinking about my strategy.  There will be more food than we can reasonably eat.  The wine served with it is "as much as you want," which is often a dangerous measure for me.  So what is my strategy?  I will eat at most a fist-sized portion of each of the various dishes served and no more.  I will allow myself one glass of wine before the food comes, and no more than two more during dinner.  (A "glass" measure here is much smaller than in the US, just for the record - slightly more than half, I think.)   I will put my utensils down between bites, and after the first course I will stop and breathe and check in with my body.  It seems so simple, but again, when you're busy chatting and enjoying the company of friends, it's not easy to remember to do it.  But this is my commitment for today.  And if I keep thinking about it one day at a time, maybe I actually can do it.

As for today's title of Cleaning Up, it's time to clean up a few things.  First, my thinking.  I will start thinking in terms of what I can have and not what I should or can't have.  I will remember to pause and think about what I am putting into my mouth, and whether it is helping my body.  Second, my routine and daily schedule. Some time ago I set up a weekly calendar with specific times scheduled for studying, exercising, and other tasks that need doing. But along the way I seem to have developed a real skill for ignoring the daily reminders that pop up on my phone.  It's an ideal schedule, with plenty of free time available  for whatever may come up. Sticking to it for one week would be an interesting experiment, and I think a very positive and productive one as well.  And last, but not least, it's definitely time to clean up my body. Poor thing. At the moment, a cleanse/detox definitely is in order, and I can do a "mini detox" in the first few days of next week. Too many festivities over a prolonged period of time have left me feeling sluggish, bloated, and generally blah, both mentally and physically.  I think my body wants a break from it all, and I think it's time I actually listened to it.  I will set aside time over the weekend to actually plan it.

So today I've already had my Greek yogurt healthy breakfast, and between my plans for a healthy lunch and my strategy for a reasonable dinner, I should be able to manage the day. Imagine that - just a little bit of thought and planning have made the day shape up as I wanted it to.  Now to make that happen with my body...  

One day at a time.

Have a health of a day!

Juli